What people want by raising a concern at work

The three types of complainers

There are three types of people in the world when it comes to complaints: the ones who complain about everything, who will never be satisfied no matter what is offered to them, the ones who just like to vent and like the validation and attention their complaints bring, and the ones who only complain when they deem something to be serious but want change (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/significant-results/201706/the-three-types-complaining). This applies in life, relationships, as consumers and at work.

You will always come across people who like to complain. A lot of this is down to mindset and outlook on life, as well as choosing when to let things go and when to take things further. Someone who complains a lot is more likely to have a negative outlook on life, seeing the worst in things and people, rather than looking for the best, and getting pleasure from complaining, despite never being fully satisfied. These people are difficult to change and are very hard to please. They will usually complain in a more aggressive manner and blame the other person or service, rather than waiting to hear their perspective. They see everything as intentional and rarely consider the possibility of genuine mistakes.

The ones who vent will usually be complaining to people they know rather than to the service providers themselves, and having a sympathetic ear to listen to their complaints, gives them the validation they need without having to take it further. In the workplace, these people can be the gossipers who relay information and displeasure to their colleagues, rather than a trusted person at home. They could also, however, be the quiet ones who say nothing in the office and then vent when they get home to their family or friends.

The third group of people are the ones who will think long and hard before raising a concern,  and will usually do it in a more professional manner. If they get emotional during the conflict, it is more likely that they would cry than to shout or get angry. These people however, want action. They are not complaining for attention, or to get something off their chest – they are raising the concern because whatever is happening is having a negative impact on their work or relationship. They want results, change, action and for the problem to be solved.

What people want from complaining

The basis of all complaints is a need for help and to raise dissatisfaction.

The first group of people will be hard to appease since they are rarely satisfied, and even if you acted upon their displeasures, they would most likely find something new in the future to raise a concern about.

The second group of people are usually satisfied by simply venting and this alone, to them, solves the issue and makes it more manageable by getting it off their chest and hearing other people’s opinions. There is the possibility however, that this way of dealing with their problems can lower morale in the workplace among other employees.

If someone in the third group however, has mustered enough courage to approach their leader or manager in order to complain, this is how to best deal with the situation:

1. A calm approach – avoid getting defensive, angry, passive-aggressive or picking on their faults. Show them you are there to listen and support them and remind yourself this is all their perspective, and as much as that is valid, it could be far off the intended outcome of the other person.
2. Someone to listen to them – allow them to vent, to get upset if needed, to speak emotionally and to get it all off their chest. You will be able to judge when they have been listened to by their body language, their breathing, their eye contact and the chance opening up for you to talk.
3. Action to be taken – once you have heard their whole situation, explain you are there to support them and that you want to find a solution. Ask them what they would like to happen, see if you can accommodate that and then work through other possible solutions if not. You want that person to leave feeling less stressed and hopeful that they will not have to endure the same situation again. You should want them to feel like their voice has been heard and action has been taken. Sometimes and apology and a short investigation is sufficient to make them feel satisfied.

No matter which type of complainer you are dealing with, it is important to follow these steps if someone is raising a concern in the workplace with you. Dealing with it by retaliating, getting defensive or angry shows a lack of self-regulation and your job as a leader, is to lead your team. As much as every member of staff must take responsibility in the drive towards improvement, productivity and excellence, the leader must show their team that he/she has their back, supports them and is there to listen when they need help.

That, after all, is the reason they have come to you: complaining is a call for positive change.