Six signs your New Year’s resolutions will fail before you start

Are you setting yourself up for success or failure?

Around 40% of adults make New Year’s resolutions each year and over 40% of them give up within 1-6 weeks. With 95% of resolutions being fitness related, is it a surprise that so many give up before they start? Where did this pressure come from for us to feel we all need to be fitter? Or perhaps it is because so many of us recognize that we live pretty sedentary lives? Either way, what is the point of making a resolution if we have no intention of doing the work?

Here are the six signs that your New Year’s resolution will become a new year’s frustration:

1. You do not have a strong reason why you want to change

To make any change, you must have a stronger reason to change than to stay where you are, and usually this involves pain. Our minds are wired to protect us from pain and to move towards pleasure. If you find your behaviour at the moment pleasurable (for example, eating unhealthily), it is very unlikely that you will move away from it, unless you consciously make the effort to do so. Therefore, your reason to change must be stronger than your reason to remain in the status quo.

2. You have not written it down (a goal without a plan is just a wish)

Only 3% of people who make goals write them down and without writing it down, visualizing it and making yourself accountable for it, it is very likely to fade away. Making a list of goals, creating a vision board on an app, on paper, on your phone or on a canvas are all ways to remind yourself of what you want for your life. The first step to achieving any goal is to ‘see’ what it would look like and picture it in your mind.

3. Your goals are unrealistic

Lots of people blame time, money and resources, but the real reason for failure is they were unrealistic to start with. If you have not got the time to exercise 5 days a week, do not set that goal. If you do not have the money or time to do a new degree, do not make that your goal, and similarly, if you cannot commit to training for the 10km, do not pretend! Be realistic of your time constraints and financial situation and set smaller goals accordingly.

4. You do not do the work every day

The second step of goal setting is to feel into what it would be like to achieve. How will you feel? What feelings will they be? How does this feel in your body? And the third step is to do this, plus the action, every single day. You should look at your goal or vision board every day and feel how it will feel like to cross that finish line and achieve it. Then you should have an action plan of HOW you will achieve it. What small steps can you do daily to achieve your goal?

Where we focus our energy is what comes about. Only 1% of people who write a goal down, work on it every day, which is part of the reason so many people do not succeed.

5. You are not accountable to anyone

Unless you are highly intrinsically motivated and can be held accountable to yourself, most people need a helping hand. This can be through an app, a support group, a coach, a mentor, a trainer, an accountability partner, or a friend asking how you are getting on. You need support to achieve goals so make sure you are surrounding yourself with the right people.

6. You cave to negative thinking

As previously mentioned, our subconscious minds do not like change and they will do whatever they can to keep you safe from danger (the unknown). We function for 94% of our lives in the subconscious mind and the other 6% is conscious effort to go against the voice in our head, and push through those thinking patterns telling us we cannot do it, should not do it or will not do it. It is essential to recognize this is simply our programming telling us this, and to ignore these thoughts. As soon as we cave to the negative thinking patterns, we are back at square one, so be aware they are not the truth, it is your subconscious protecting you from change, and to see the change, you have to push through any self-sabotage.

To make one or not?

Setting goals requires change and change is hard. We are hard-wired subconsciously to stay in our comfort zones. If you deep down that you will not dedicate the time and effort to change physically and mentally in order to achieve your new year’s resolutions, do not make them, as it will amplify the feeling of failure.

My advice is to really know yourself and know if you have the time and energy to commit to making the change. Perhaps you can set a smaller, more realistic goal? Perhaps you can find a friend who wants the same thing as you? Or perhaps you could focus on something that you are really motivated to achieve, rather than what you feel you SHOULD do?

I personally, believe in growth, development and self-improvement, so I think everyone should aim to better themselves physically, emotionally, intellectually or spiritually. If you are currently living every element of your life in the comfort zone, I encourage you to push your boundaries and try life outside of that circle. Make a small goal to do something you have never done, to meet someone new, to find a new hobby or learn more about yourself. Goals do not all need to be immense, monumental changes, but simply a way for you to feel you are becoming a better version of yourself every day.

Think it, feel it and do it, and your dreams will become a reality – it is simple science!