My five essentials for a happy life

Some people say we need love to be happy, or simply our basic needs such as shelter, food and clothes. These are true, however, put aside a human’s basic physiological needs and these are the five things I feel make us happy. If we are missing one, or struggling in one area, it has the power to render us ‘unhappy’ ‘unfulfilled’ or ‘unsatisfied’.

So, let’s delve deeper into why these 5 things alone hold our happiness in their hands…

1. Health (mental and physical)

Not sleeping enough, drinking too much, being dependent on a substance, having physical ailments, disorders or diseases and poor mental health such as anxiety, addictions, eating disorders or stress, all have a huge impact on our day-to-day life. We can become moody, snappy, withdrawn, self-conscious or irritable if we have habits which are disempowering or keeping us stuck. Similarly, health conditions which cause pain, inability to do normal activities or restrict your life, can all be detrimental to your levels of happiness.

Lifestyle has a huge part to play in how we remain fit and healthy, stress-free and calm. Never underestimate the magnitude of being gifted with good health.

2. A support system

We do not all have supportive families or friends who are around when we need them. Some of us prefer being alone or are away from home and finding it difficult to meet like-minded people. This does not matter. In order to feel happy and content, all we need is ONE supportive person we can confide in, talk to when required and express our emotions to. This person should have our back, be fully trustworthy and be a good listener. If we have one person like this, we are winning. Be it a coach, a therapist, a friend, a partner, a family member, a colleague, a boss or a health care professional – we all need someone and without it, the world can be a very lonely place.

3. A positive outlook, resilience

Of course life can be very hard and can also be sad, worrying and heartbreaking at times, but remaining in these states for too long, only bring more of the same. Now, I am not telling you to never feel negative emotions, but informing you of the detrimental effect of wallowing in them. Cry, get angry, have a rant, let it out or allow yourself to feel unsupported, lonely, unmotivated or whatever it may be, but playing the c=victim will not get you out of this any quicker, in fac it will prolong the process. As soon as you can change your physiology and mental state back to a positive one, the more likely your subconscious reaction will be to return to this state when difficult situations arise. Dwelling in negative emotions will simply create more negative emotions.

4. Purpose, direction and identity

If you are doing a job you hate or one which does not align with your values, want to be married but cannot find a partner, or yearn to be a mother and are struggling with infertility, all of these things affect your purpose. If there is a disconnect between the way yo use yourself and your reality, it will cause internal conflict because you are not living the way you envisaged it to be. One way to do this is to get clear on where you want to be and create a action plan to make it happen.  Start acting as if you are already living your purpose. Be the professional you want to be, become the artist you have been quashing or share your motherly love with those around you, until your purpose becomes your reality.

5. Belonging to something bigger than yourself

The ego is a dangerous thing and can convince us we are the only thing that matters in any situation; the only opinion or point of view, the only perspective or the only one who deserves sympathy. Getting out of ourselves, removes the ego and helps us realise we are just a tiny cog in the wheel of life. It helps us feel gratitude as we see people who do not have what we have and helps us to realise there is a much bigger picture out there than the painting we have created for ourselves. Join a group, participate in events, volunteer your time, give to charity, gather to share religious beliefs or to worship, or do a good deed every day. Do what you can to get out of your ego and into seeing the world around you rather than through your own peripheral vision. Not only does it make you feel good, it helps others and creates more harmony, open-mindedness and diversity in communities.

Evaluate your life

If you are feeling unhappy at the moment, have a look at these 5 areas and try to evaluate which one is the one you struggle with the most. Identify what is lacking from your life, how you can change it for the better, and ultimately, what is going to make you feel happier?