Is your confidence holding you back?

If you were asked what you would like to achieve in life, what would you say? Earn more money? Change career? Find the love of your life? Get the perfect figure? Compete in an event? Climb a mountain? Sky dive?

The one thing that stops people from achieving their goal more than anything is fear and the second, is confidence. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure and fear of poverty are three of the most common reasons that people do not push themselves out of their comfort zones to embrace the life they really want. By working on confidence and your level of self-belief, you can start working towards your dream life and conquer these fears.

Here are some sure-fire ways you know your confidence is holding you back:

1. You dream but take no action

If you spend all your time dreaming about living somewhere different, having a different job, being with someone different or lusting after dreams that you do not make happen, you are wasting your time. There are people who have medical problems, disabilities and life struggles who achieve some amazing things, so do not let anything be an excuse for something you want to achieve – it is just that – an excuse. Take action or your life will stay stagnant. Remember that you can be anything you wish to be, do not let your lack of self-belief keep you stuck in a life you are unhappy in.

2. Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is knowing what you want to achieve, but getting in your own way stops you from taking the necessary steps. Self-sabotaging thoughts convince you there is no point in trying, because you will ultimately fail, so you repeat the same negative behaviours, keeping you stuck. Identifying your sabotaging behaviour and talking it through with a therapist or coach can help you focus on what you truly want and know the small steps to take to ensure you achieve your goals.

3. You put down your abilities

Talking negatively about yourself is clear evidence that you have low self-esteem. Telling yourself you cannot do something, you are bad at something, that you are not qualified enough, good-looking enough, intelligent enough, are all ways that you will convince yourself to stay in your comfort zone. What would happen if you decided that you CAN do the qualification, you CAN meet your ideal partner or you CAN earn a higher salary because you are worth it? What if you started changing the narrative and took the chance on being able to achieve your goal?

Be sure to recognize your internal dialogue and as soon as you hear yourself saying negative things, flip it to something positive or suppress it and think of something else. Negative thoughts, turn to negative beliefs and therefore into negative actions, but the same works for positive thoughts, so the more you think positive, the more your life will change for the better and your actions will reflect those thoughts.

4. You are unhappy in your day-to-day life

Sometimes when things are not the way you plan them to be, it is easy to fall into a ‘woe is me’ or ‘victim’ mentality and blame people or circumstances for your position. This is dangerous however, and can suck you into thinking life is like that. Becoming aware of the fact that you are responsible for your reactions to all of life’s events, allows you to choose how you will feel. Of course, there are things which bring us down, knock our confidence and are difficult to overcome, but remaining negative can be detrimental for any kind of progress. Follow a self-care routine to ensure you are doing activities which make you happy and help your physical and emotional health.

5. You worry about what others will think

Many people do not challenge themselves, give themselves new goals or try new things because they worry about what other people will think. Try to remember that the people who love you, will support you in your dreams, no matter how risky or crazy. If you are receiving negative comments or not getting the support you need, ignore those people and press forward with your goals.

Most of the time, when we talk about ‘other people’ however, it is not our loved ones that we mean. We worry about people who perhaps know us but we are not friends with, or strangers. These people are not our friends for a reason. Their opinions do not matter and should NOT stop you from trying new things or challenging yourself. Look inside and ask yourself what YOU think and feel. Trust your own ability to decide for yourself instead of looking to others for approval, because it does not always come.