How to know your vice has become a problem
Everyone has something they do or consume to relax, cope with stress or switch off. Whether it is watching a TV series, exercise, having a coffee, eating an ice-cream, or drinking a glass of wine; we all have something that we go to in times of discomfort.
For many, this glass of wine, coffee, cake or run helps switch off, relax after a stressful day or allow the mind to focus on something mundane. Some people have healthy vices where they exercise, take a nap, meditate, or know how to offload appropriately. For others, however, this vice can become a coping mechanism which is relied on.
So, how do we know when our go-to vice has become an issue?
- We feel guilt or shame when we do it
When we need to cope with stress or an uncomfortable feeling, we naturally revert to the things we enjoy. Whether that is food, alcohol, smoking, watching TV, listening to music, but engaging in these activities is NOT negative at all, until there is guilt or shame that comes along with it. Feeling embarrassed or guilty about what you are doing can signify that something is wrong and the vice you have is hindering not helping you.
- We lie to ourselves or others about it
Even the smallest little lie or element of dishonesty can show there is an issue. Doing something in secret, hiding it in the car, covering up something you have done, throwing away the evidence or pretending to be somewhere else, are all forms of lies you can tell yourself or others which signify that there is a problem. When something makes you feel good, there is no need to be dishonest or to hide your habits because you believe they are doing you good and enjoy them. But the minute you start to lie, it has become something you do not feel comfortable being honest about and needs to be addressed.
- We have tried to cut it out and could not stop
Whether you have done a 30-day challenge to stop drinking coffee, or tried Dry January and not been able to see through half the month, these are indications that you have become dependent on the activity or product and is no longer something that you are in complete control of. So many people have tried to cut out sugar, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee or procrastination, then realized that it is not as easy as it looked. Addressing the fact you could be dependent on it is the start of understanding how to find a solution
- Our relationships, health (physical or mental), work or finances have suffered as a result
Once we have a vice that has potentially got out of hand, we discover that the guilt, the shame, the lies and the secrecy all lead to problems within our relationship with ourselves and others. Overspending to support your habit, feeling like you are not being open with the people you love, weight gain and emotional health issues, lack focus on work or pressing events, are all ways in which our lives can be affected by these problems.
If you have answered yes to any of the above 4 signs, it could be time to seek help and try to sort out the problem before it turns into a full-blown addiction. Knowing the difference between a habit and an addiction can be important for knowing how you cope with difficulties in life. Our brains will always respond well to anything that makes us feel good and produces serotonin as a result. However, when we use these things as a coping strategy for stress, anxiety or emotional turmoil, without them, our brains do not know how to cope with uncomfortable feelings and will crave what we use to reduce the stress. There is nothing wrong with drinking a coffee to calm nerves before an interview or having a glass of wine after a stressful day at work, but if the feel-good factor turns into worry or guilt, it may be time to step away from your vice and look at how to lead a more balanced lifestyle.