Five Festive Boundaries we all need these holidays
The holiday period can be stressful for a number of reasons, and as much as it can be filled with joy, laughter and happiness for some, for others it can anxiety-inducing, expensive and forced. So, whether you love the holiday season or want to curl up under your blanket in your slippers watching Love Actually, here are five festive boundaries we all need to ensure your holiday is more about laughter than loathing.
- Work boundaries
There is always the temptation to check work emails, see if the sale went through or check in with the team, but during this period especially, strong time boundaries are needed of when you will work and when you won’t. Perhaps have a time limit that your work phone and emails are turned off, perhaps leave work earlier than usual or perhaps factor in more work from home if your workplace allows this.
Whether you are aiming to be more present with family and friends, or whether you need the time to switch off, relax and have some well-deserved alone time, your mind needs to detach from work after a certain point and you need to allow yourself some time to do what you enjoy, even if that is doing nothing.
- Relationship boundaries
This time of year is renowned for family visits, catching up with loved ones and caring for those around us. However, for many people, it is also a time for being forced to see people you do not like and have no interest in, having people in your home who you do not know very well and seeing family who you see at no other point in the year. With this, comes discomfort, anxiety and apathy, as these are often not people you would choose to spend your time with. They could range from people who have no interest in you, to people who are or have been abusive towards you. You are obliged by no one to see people who you do not want to see. Do not let other people, guilt or a sense of duty make you feel like you need to do these things. Your health and happiness is the most important thing in your life, so protect it and focus on surrounding yourself with things and people you love.
- Emotional boundaries
Social anxiety is a killer at this time of year with nights out, meet ups, reunions, family events and work dos. Feeling like you have to go, or having a fear of missing out (despite not wanting to go) can make you feel conflicted. If you are trying to find excuses to not go somewhere, if you just want to snuggle up at home, if you simply do not want to go, or if you want to go but your anxiety is making it very uncomfortable for you, JUST SAY NO!
There is no point doing something that stresses you out. If you would rather stay in, then stay in. You do not need a reason or an excuse, just simply say no and stay at home where you are comfortable. If doing this makes you feel frustrated or angry with yourself, then perhaps choose one or two events you will go to and leave all the other ones. This can help you feel like you have pushed yourself out of your comfort zone but still get to be comfortable.
- Financial boundaries
This time of year can be so expensive, even if you are trying to watch the pennies. With presents, visitors, entertaining, nights out, dinners, visitors, extra petrol, social events, theatre trips and extra heating (in colder countries), it all takes a toll on the purse.
If you can, try to save a little in the run up to the festive period, and if that does not work, try create a budget to help you stay within your means. If that does not work, make sure you are in a position to pay off credit card charges and cover the costs of your expenses.
If none of these are options, it may be that you reduce gifts or spending this year and explain to people that you are struggling or that you are just getting something small. Bearing in mind that the people we should be seeing are loved ones or people who know you very well and care about you, most people will never mind if there are no gifts or you cannot be as lavish as previously because it is your company they want over presents.
- Physical boundaries
During the holidays we can push our bodies to its physical limits in terms of eating and drinking. This can be part of the fun but can also cause more damage than it is worth if there are health issues (physical or mental) at play. With so many meals out, meals in, Christmas dinners, drinks out and extra snacks around the office, it is easy to over consume.
Some people like to allow themselves total freedom at this time of the year and some prefer to have limits on the food and drink entering their bodies. You know yourself best and whatever is best for you to be able to enjoy this time of year, while feeling good about yourself, is the way forward for you. If you need to watch the alcohol, or the mince pies, or just need to maintain your gym-going, these are all good options and will work for some more than others.
The key is to know yourself, enjoy yourself and protect yourself.
Tis the season to be jolly
So, to conclude, the focus for this festive season is love and happiness. It is about rest, recuperation, and human connection. Never be scared to say no, to not be able to or not want to do something. No one will think badly of you and you will feel stronger and more confident for being able to draw strong boundaries while nurturing your mental and physical health. Tis the season to look after yourself, your loved ones and your happiness, so stay strong and get those boundaries in place.