Five difficult things good leaders must do

Being a leader is no easy feat. When it comes to managing people, you have to deal with your own bad days and mistakes, as well as your teams’ and it can be draining. You may feel on top of the world while a member of your team is struggling, or you may be dealing with stress while trying to keep everyone in the team feeling reassured, positive and motivated.

All leaders fall into one of these categories; results-driven or relationship-driven. Everyone will have a preference and it usually is tied to the strength of the person. He best leaders, however, manage to merge both to be able to focus on results and build meaningful relationships to motivate employees.

That said, there are some parts of being a leader that come as part and parcel of the role and they can be difficult to deal with, so whether you manage one person or a few hundred, these are five difficult things that good leaders must do:

1. Accept that you some people will not like you

Just like in your personal life, you do not like everyone and not everyone will like you. This is normal. As a leader, you are not there to be friends with your colleagues. Yes, it is great if you can forge strong relationships and be an approachable presence for your team, but your role is to lead them from point A to point B, and friendship is not part of that agenda.

As long as you are supportive, caring, kind, fair and open-minded, as well as competent in your role, you can be rest-assured that you are doing what you can to carry your team to where they need to be.

Wanting to be liked by employees, being hurt if people leave you out, or knowing they do not like you, should not hinder you from being a great leader. There will always be people who do not feel 100% comfortable being around their leaders because, at the end of the day, you are their boss and they do not want to give you any reason to think badly of them or to do anything that would affect their job security. This is not personal, it is fact. Most people feel more comfortable around peers and colleagues than their line managers.

2. Understand that some people will complain to you or about you

Decision making is an integral part of being a leader. There are ways you can involve employees in the decision-making process such as surveys, valuing their opinion or giving them a safe space to voice their concerns or ideas, but ultimately, the decisions are made by leaders and you will not be able to please everyone. Humans like to complain and even something positive such as pay increase or an early finish, will lead to some complaining it is not enough.

When it comes to decisions about changes or improvements to be made, there will always be a disgruntled employee who is not on board or tries to make things difficult. Change is scary and sends so many people into panic/ stress mode from fear of the unknown. Many instances of defiance or refusal to get on board, stem from fear rather than incompetence.

A good leader will take the complaints on board, allow them to have their say but would also support, encourage and guide them through the transition to reassure them that every decision made is aligned with the company’s vision.

3. Be receptive and reflective about criticism

Part of leading a company or team is being able to deal effectively with criticism. This could be to your face, in meetings or behind your back, but there is something positive to take from this; if you have created a culture of mutual respect and open relationships, your employees will feel comfortable to come and speak to you (respectfully) to express their concerns.

If this criticism is not being done respectfully, or being conducted behind your back, it is perhaps a time to reflect and ask yourself why this is happening. Have you got boundaries in place so that people do not treat anyone disrespectfully at work? Have you got surveys or an open-door policy where people can say how they feel regularly to give feedback? Are you acting upon the feedback given?

It hurts to have people tell you what you are doing badly, but it also requires a lot of reflection to understand yourself and the person. Take their points on board and show you are being proactive, but there is also an element of reflection required in knowing what is actually requiring action and what is simply the employee’s anger or projection. There are times when people complain and blame when the problem is actually them, but listen and show you are taking it on board and reflect to know what needs changing and what does not.

4. Be able to be flexible in dealing with different cases while still following protocol.

All businesses need policies and protocols to keep uniformity, transparency and fairness across the company, however, good leaders have to have an element of flexibility when it comes to dealing with people as situations vary between different people.

Of course, we need to assure that treatment is fair so that employees do not feel there is preference or maltreatment, but by simply knowing your staff and team, you should be able to use professional judgement or discretion for some cases.

For example, if an employee requests leave for a family wedding but your policy states it is only first-degree relatives that time off can be given for, offer them unpaid leave or assess the situation. You need your team to trust you enough to be truthful and not have to lie about situations. If they request time off, it is important enough for them to buy a flight and travel home, you should trust them enough to know it is important to them. We can still follow procedures whilst ensuring team members are valued, trusted and happy.

5. Have difficult conversations

There will be times that, after following all correct protocols and procedures, a team member behaves unprofessionally. Having a conversation about this, whether it is an ‘off the record’ chat, a warning or a termination, is something leaders need to learn how to do tactfully and compassionately.

You are likely to encounter a range of reactions from arguments, defensiveness, tears or silence because it is always a threat to the ego being reprimanded about anything, but if you base the conversation on evidence and have taken all the correct steps, given chances and put support in place, you can be firm and stand your ground calmly and professionally.

No one said it was easy

It is not ever going to be an easy job leading people because we have to focus on others before ourselves, have to take on board all their concerns, worries and family issues, as well as trying to inspire and motivate everyone to work to their best ability. Trying to find the balance between being results-driven and relationship-driven is no mean feat and can take trail and lots of error to find the equilibrium. We must have the boundaries in place to create transparency within the organisation but, by taking time to know your employees and care about them, you will naturally create a culture of openness, honestly and trust.