Leading from ego leads to discontent

 

We have all experienced a variety of good, great and poor leaders in our time, from our first Saturday job to our full-time career, but which skills set a great leader apart from a destructive one?

There are generally two types of leaders; those who lead from the heart and those who lead from the ego. The first type will be able to get their employees on board through their empathy for others and time spent building those relationships, leading to results, whereas the second type, will not. Why? It all comes down to one thing…people skills.

A leader who leads from his/ her own ego is more concerned about him/herself than others in their team. They are driven by the power, the money, the promotion, or the status that comes with the leadership position. They get a sense of identity from the knowledge they are ‘above’ others, and they enjoy the control that gives them. They try to find fault in others to reassure themselves that they deserve to hold that position and they are threatened by people who possess skills they do not.

Ego-driven leaders generally lack the people skills and awareness to understand the important of Emotional Intelligence and that building rapport and creating relationships is essentially, what makes people tick, motivates them to work well, inspires them to develop and instills a sense of trust, honesty and openness in the workplace.

Here are 5 signs of an ego-centric boss:

1. They have no time for you

Ego-centric people who have made it into leadership positions often show little to no interest in their teams. They may not be available to them, can be unapproachable and do not display open body language or behaviour to suggest that they want to see things from their perspective. They have spent no time trying to get to know you or your situation and run their business with following policies rather than situation and staff member.

2. They need to control others

Great leaders are not pre-occupied with getting people to do things their way, they involve them in the decision making and ask them their point of view, to have a full overview of the company and how the decisions affect others. Getting employees on board with the vision is essential for driving forward and improvement, and an authoritative leadership style in these circumstances does not often work.

3. They seek the negative in your work

When something goes wrong – a deadline is missed, a customer complains or a deal falls through, a poor leader will blame and deny rather than take responsibility and support. If a member of the team is not performing to optimum output, leadership is about guiding and inspiring him/ her out of the problem and providing them with the support to have the required skillset. Criticising, blaming, denying and gaslighting are all ways in which the ego takes over.

4. They do not want you to develop or surpass them

As Richard Brandson said, ‘train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they do not want to’. This is about empowerment, pushing team members to become their best self and giving them new skills in order for them to be capable of more than they came into the establishment with. By developing the team, they feel valued, respected and capable, and as a result, self-esteem and confidence grows. It is the human relationships, challenge and belief in them is what will keep that team member in that company.

5. They are threatened by people who have skills they lack

Egotistical leaders constantly care about what others think about them because they are in the position for selfish reasons and are trying to prove a point to others. If someone in the team has great people skills, is self-reflective, more organized, more skilled in an area or more capable than them in any way, they will automatically feel threatened and feel as though their position and status is under the spotlight. Great leaders choose a team around them to enhance the company and for maximum profit. They understand they are not the best at everything and surround themselves with people who can lift them up and achieve success for the company. Egotistical leaders want to be the best at everything and feel like the company would crumble without them, because they have not up-skilled the other leaders to be able to do what is necessary.

When people feel threatened, they behave in irrational ways because they worry about their pride being hurt, their reputation being ruined or their true self being exposed. This can, in turn, lead to toxic behaviour at work, such as criticism, aggression, being unavailable, poor communication skills or a negative environment and morale. This will create a destructive ethos where the team are unmotivated to produce their best work and feel undervalued, under-challenged and unknown to their superiors.

Leading from the heart demonstrates the importance of human connection in professional relationships and is a skill that will allow colleagues to thrive, develop and prosper at work. If your team are driven and motivated, it is likely the leaders have created this culture through heart-centered leadership, and of not, it is perhaps time to look at whether this workplace is led by people who will get you to the next level and care about you on the journey.