Expat dating – where are all the good men?

Getting a job abroad brings excitement about your new home, city life and the opportunities it will bring. Moving abroad as a single person is often much easier than having others to think of, because you only have to focus on yourself. However, the dating world can be very stressful for expats, and it can be very difficult to meet like-minded people, people who want the same things and people who you are in alignment with.

Here are some things to remember when you are single abroad:

1. It is possible to meet someone with the same values and outlook

Many people have met their partners while abroad and it can be helpful to remind yourself that it is possible. There are many different cultures in an expat community, and this can bring about amazing opportunities to meet people you would never have met at home. Having the same values and belief system and an ability to communicate effectively is way more important than being from the same culture or religion. Keep an open mind and your standards at the same time.

2. It is better to be alone than with someone who is not right for you

The fear of being alone often prevents people being alone and pushes them into unhealthy relationships. Being with someone who is not in alignment to you and does not feed into your happiness, causes more problems than being alone will bring.  A period alone allows you to focus on your needs. Be brave, and know you deserve more than being with someone who does not give you what you need.

3. Meeting the perfect person is dependent on timings, chance and place – not about you!

Finding the person of your dreams is not a recipe where you get some confidence, go to a specific place and voilà, there is your soulmate! You can have the most confidence in the world, be surrounded by potential partners at work or in your social life, but if those people are married or not your kind of people, you will not meet the one.

Please do not feel that not meeting someone has anything to do with you. If you are constantly attracting the wrong kind of men/ women or do not have the confidence to know your standards and accept nothing less, then yes, this can be worked on, but otherwise, meeting the right person has nothing to do with you and can only be explained as fate. It will happen when the time is right.

4. People come into your life at the right time for a reason

People come into your life to teach you something. Whether it is to make you realise you do not need anyone, that there are bad people out there, to teach you a hard lesson, make you raise your standards, or to help you understand a personality trait of yours. When it is the right time for you to meet the person you are meant to be with, it will happen. Have faith and believe it will happen because life really does work in mysterious ways. If you feel you are having to kiss a lot of frogs before meeting your prince, there is a lesson in there somewhere. Trust the process.

5. Being comfortable on your own is an admirable skill that many people do not have

Most people have never had to be alone or had to get used to their own company. Being comfortable in your own company takes courage, growth and independence. There are lots of needy people in the world and it is very admirable to be able to find happiness alone, rather than needing people (and not always good people), to be happy.

6. Time is NOT running out for you to meet someone or have a family

Many women often feel time is running out if they have dreamt of having a family or have plans for their future. Age worries women who have been told it is impossible to have children past a certain age, but so many women are choosing to have families in their forties and, if having children is your goal, there are so many ways to achieve this now that it is important to stay positive and focus on the goal, not the process. It may not happen the way you had panned but it will happen.

If having children is not your plan, it is NEVER too late to meet someone. Circumstances change through death, divorce, separation, infidelity, and people can find themselves single at all different stages in life. Sometimes the path we feel we should be on, is not the path that is planned for us and if we remain open-minded and ready to take all opportunities presented to us, things will happen for you exactly the way they are meant to – embrace the journey you are on and remember there is someone out there for everyone.