Heather Broderick

3 reasons why you should never listen to a critical person

girl, young woman, awakening

I am sure you have that one person in your life who criticizes everything, who is constantly moaning, complaining or putting others down. It can come across as a superiority complex with that person boasting about him/herself all the time or belittling others to make themselves feel better. Or it can simply be someone who cannot see the good in anything.

It can be someone who we do not see every day, such as a friend or relative, or someone who has a bigger role in our life such as a family member, a partner or colleague. The more that you see, or have to spend time with these people, the more dangerous it can be.

If you have low self-esteem, are a people-pleaser or have a fear of rejection, you may often get your feeling of self-worth from others and what they say to you or how they behave towards you. This is the danger with the critical person. This person will criticize everything from the weather, to the way people drive, to the clothes people wear, to gossiping to cause drama or even being confrontational in meetings. These people are not solution-focused, they do not come to you with suggestions on how to improve – they simply just like to moan!

Have you ever been around a friend or relative that complains all the time about their health, or when you ask them how they are, tells you a story about some drama that happened? I knew a girl once who complained about her looks all the time but when I suggested she shopped in certain shops, she had a reason why the clothes were uncomfortable or too expensive. When she complained about her glasses, I suggested wearing contacts and she complained about getting them in her eyes. When she talked about not finding shoes big enough for her feet, I suggested places with bigger feminine shoes and she said they were too expensive or not her style. When she talked about her hair looking a mess, I suggested some up-styles and she said her hair was so heavy it would not go up at all! Some people do not even want to try – they are quite happy making excuses of why their lives should stay miserable. They play the victim and do not have any creativity or resilience to try to fix the problem. When you spend a lot of time with these people, it can really affect your outlook on life and, for me, it is always better to avoid them or reduce contact.

Here are 3 reasons why you should never listen to critical people:

1.They suck and drain the positive energy out of you

Being around negative people or negative news or stories all day surrounds you with negative energy and any positivity you had can slowly disappear. Angry people, critical people and those playing the victim are not good people to be around because you end up engaging in their negative conversations and focusing on the bad instead of the good.

2. They do not like themselves

Anyone who criticises others constantly, does not like or value themselves. It is impossible to like another person more than you like yourself so that means that if he/she is criticizing others, they are criticizing themselves to a higher level internally. This is why the bullies, the passive-aggressive, the gaslighter and manipulative people think they have control and power but by behaving this way, they are simply showing the world that they have no respect for themselves and they do not even like who they are as a person.

3. No matter what you do, you will never get approval from these people

People pleasers or people who lack confidence, often seek to be liked by everyone and want others to appreciate them, in order to boost their self-esteem. However, critical people will never give you this, no matter what you do. Even if they complain about something and you do the opposite to do it as they had asked, they will find something negative in this because the truth was that they were never dissatisfied with what you were doing, they were dissatisfied with themselves.

What you think about and talk about become your energy and therefore, your reality, so by default, listening to these people, hanging around with them or giving your thoughts to anything they are criticizing, is bringing more negativity into your life. If you cannot avoid them or limit your time with them, the one thing you must do to not give their words any power, is to ignore them. Do not rise to the argument. Do not wonder to yourself if what they said was true and do not give them the time of day to discuss their negative points of view. Take it with a pinch of salt, recognize the fact that they have a very low level of self-worth and be grateful that you are not like that. Negative people deserve none of your time or energy.