Are good leaders their own worst critics?

Being self-critical can be destructive when it comes to goal setting, perfectionism and creating change, because it can set us back on our road to success, but is it so negative when it comes to leadership?

Good leaders are reflective, and with this, they are usually highly skilled in seeing where they went wrong, what they are doing well and knowing exactly what is required of them. So, whether it is a job interview, a meeting, a workshop, a keynote speech or a normal day at work, most good leaders know if it has been successful or not.

During meetings with their own line managers, these are the people who have already noted down what had gone wrong, what they could have done better and why it did not go as planned. They usually see far more flaws in their work than their boss, and they usually know the intricacies of their failings.

In leadership, the ability to reflect is like gold-dust. It shows someone who can see other people’s perspectives, someone who can take criticism well because they have usually given themselves far worse criticism in their own minds, and someone who knows exactly what to do to improve because they know the criteria of what they SHOULD be doing inside out. Is this such a bad thing when there are so many people around who do not know or understand what they do wrong (sometimes even when they are told)?

It only becomes a problem when he/she begins to berate themselves and loses confidence in themselves because of the criticism. With this self-criticism, there needs to be an equal amount of intrinsic motivation, a resilience to keep going and the independence to not need to constant support of others.

Intrinsic motivation

If you are motivated by high standards, doing the job to your best ability and, ultimately because you want to be a success, this will help in situations when you feel as if you have not achieved your potential in a task or project. Lacking intrinsic motivation will result in needing an incentive to keep going, or you will not be able to give your all, which changes the desire to do well for your own satisfaction and pride.

Resilience

Being able to accept your mistakes, pick yourself back up again and continue leading in the way you know how to, is a skill not everyone possesses. It is difficult to feel as if you are not achieving your own standards and it is easy to feel incompetent when your confidence has been knocked. However, resilience is required to not let this affect you, can push the negative self-talk out your head and get you back to doing what you do best.

Independence

Feeling supported and having a great support system around you at work is hugely beneficial to any leader, and also something which is a prerequisite of an effective team (on all levels) but needing constant reassurance that you are doing the right thing or are coping with your role can become draining for your line manager or team. A great leader has confidence in their own ability, decision-making and when they need to have some more self-belief to continue in their role. Having to be reassured every time you feel like you did not make a right decision, complete a task quickly enough, or upset someone will appear apprehensive to those around you and can lead to others having less respect for you as a leader. We all need some support and reassurance but needing it persistently can be overbearing.

All in all, to be a great leader, the ability to reflect and the need for self-criticism must come with the resilience to not allow it to negatively impact your role or leadership. Being self-critical can be a great tool to help you excel in your career, can help identify areas for development and can give you insights about professionalism that others may not possess, but do not allow it to become a stick to beat yourself with. Berating yourself is not the way that you will lead by example or inspire others, so use that resilience you have, to propel yourself back to the forefront of your game with better clarity and a new level of excellence.